My Journey – How My Faith & Beliefs Transformed

 

My Journey – How My Faith & Beliefs Transformed

What If God Is Trying to Meet You Somewhere New?

What if I told you that sometimes, the way we expect to connect with God isn’t how He actually meets us? That when life takes us to our lowest, when we feel abandoned, when we stop looking for Him in the ways we used to—He finds a new way to reach us?

I grew up with a very specific idea of God. I saw Him through the lens of Christianity, through the beliefs instilled in me as a child. I believed in one path, one truth, one way to know Him—and anything outside of that? It was dangerous. It was deceptive. It was evil. At least, that’s what I was taught.

But life has a way of breaking down everything you thought you knew. My beliefs didn’t shatter all at once—it happened in layers, slowly, painfully, and with a lot of questioning. Looking back, I can see how every moment—every doubt, every struggle, every desperate prayer—was leading me to a deeper, freer connection with God than I had ever known before.

And today, I want to share that journey with you. How I lost my connection with God. How my faith crumbled. How I couldn’t understand why a ‘good’ person like me was suffering so deeply. And ultimately—how He met me right where I was, in a way I never expected.

When Everything Started to Change

For most of my life, I had always been a positive person. I had every reason not to be—life wasn’t always easy—but I still held onto hope, to faith, to this deep inner belief that things would always work out. And in many ways, they did.

But then, something shifted.

My mental health took a turn, and suddenly, I felt completely disconnected from God. I didn’t understand why this was happening to me. I wasn’t a negative person. I wasn’t bitter. I wasn’t hurting anyone. So if karma was real—why did it feel like I was paying for something I didn’t even do?

At that point, I began questioning everything. Was I being punished? Had I done something wrong? I even wondered if reincarnation was real—if maybe, just maybe, I was suffering because of some past life karma.

I had always believed in a loving God, but now, I was exhausted. I was frustrated. I felt abandoned.

I was normal. I had a normal life. A normal job. A normal way of existing in society. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, I could barely hold it together. I was losing myself. And worst of all—I was losing my connection with God.

How God Found Me in a New Way

At first, I fought it. I tried to reconnect with Him in the ways I always had—prayer, scripture, seeking the signs I used to see. And nothing happened. Nothing.

It felt like He was silent. Like I had been abandoned. But the truth was—He wasn’t meeting the old me anymore. He was meeting me in a new way, exactly where I was.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but He was speaking to me in ways that I had never thought to look before. Through intuition. Through synchronicities. Through an unshakable pull toward something I had once feared—Tarot.

I had seen Tarot before. I had been taught that it was dangerous, deceptive. That it opened doors that shouldn’t be opened. But something about it wouldn’t leave me alone. I felt drawn to it—not as a tool to predict the future, not as a way to summon spirits—but as a way to connect with myself again. To learn if I could trust my own gut feelings that were taking over my entire life. I needed to know if my intuition is really there or if not, I wanted to learn to strengthen it. 

And so, despite all my fear, despite everything I had been taught, I took the leap. I picked up my first deck, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I felt clarity. I felt peace. I felt seen.

The cards weren’t telling me anything new. They were showing me what I already knew deep down but had been too afraid to trust. And in that moment, I realized—this was how God was choosing to meet me now.

Not in the old ways. Not in the ways that no longer fit who I was becoming. But in a way that spoke to my soul in that exact moment. A way that helped me find my own voice again.

Faith, Fear & Evolving Beliefs

The guilt I felt is what led me to combining the cards with the Bible. It helped me ease into this in a way that set the foundation for this entire new adventure. If I was still seeking to find God, it says ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, so I thought it was only right to also find a way to show that this was not a diss at God or a rebellious act out of anger. It allowed me to feel confident knowing that God knew my heart.

Little did I know how successful I would be at finding the cards throughout scripture. At first, I honestly thought I was stretching some connections, but discovering that almost every card could be linked to biblical themes amazed me. This realization is what made me feel truly connected—this became more than a hobby to me; it became a huge part of my spiritual journey.

If I was seeking Him with love, with openness, with the purest of intentions—why would He not meet me there?

And that’s the thing that so many people don’t understand. Faith evolves. The way we connect with God isn’t always going to look the same. Just because something feels unfamiliar doesn’t mean it isn’t divine. Sometimes, we have to be willing to let go of old ideas to step into something deeper.

And that’s what this journey is about. Exploring. Questioning. Expanding. Not with fear, but with curiosity. Not with doubt, but with the belief that God is big enough to meet us anywhere.

So if you’re reading this, and you’re struggling—if you feel like you’ve lost your connection, if you feel like the old ways aren’t working anymore—maybe it’s because He’s trying to meet you somewhere new. Maybe you’re being called to step into a different way of seeing Him.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s not something to fear—but something to embrace.

Where Is God Trying to Meet You Now?

This is just the beginning of our journey together. I have so much more to share, and next time, we’re diving into The Fool’s Journey—what it means to take a leap of faith, both in Tarot and in the Bible.

But until then, I want you to ask yourself this:

✨ Where is God trying to meet you now? ✨

Because I promise you—He’s still there. Even if it looks different than before.

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